Hello Zindagi

A Taste Of Life

2009-06-29T03:00:00.002+05:30

Some people say that life is complex, because it has both real and imaginary parts. Some call life rational. Some call it irrational. But nobody calls life natural, and nobody takes life naturally. Even Rohan couldn't take life naturally. He was sitting on a park bench, trying really hard to write something on a crumpled piece of paper. He was seething with anger, the anger that comes hand in hand with despair. He had lost all control. He couldn't stop the veins in his arms from flaring up. He couldn't stop the tears trickling down his cheeks. But then, sometimes big decisions need to be taken, he thought. He took a few deep breaths, wiped off his face and finished writing the letter.

It was a really beautiful evening. A cool breeze gently flirted with Rohan's shirt. He got up, letter clutched in hand, and started walking towards nowhere in particular. Just then, a gentle drizzle started coming down. The tiny droplets of rain seemed to boil and evaporate as they touched his angry skin.

He saw an elderly couple walk past him. They were holding hands, and talking happily about how cute their grandson was. Their happiness made him cringe, and he silently walked away from them.

He saw a young girl playing Frisbee with her friend. He saw her beautiful hair dance with the wind as she dived to catch the disc. He heard her bubbly laughter as she fell on the grass. He stood there, staring at her for a long time, and then walked on.

He was outside the park now. The evening was slowly giving way to the night, and it was still drizzling. At a corner he saw a very old and shabby man enjoying a slice of bread. Rohan sensed that this was perhaps the old man's last meal of the day. He then noticed a small puppy sitting by the old man's side, wagging its tail. He watched as the old man shared his dinner with the poor creature. He saw the happiness that they shared. He marveled at the big heart of the old man. And walked on.

He was now walking on the footpath along the road. He saw a young couple go past him on a bike. The girl was especially hot. She was wearing a short red skirt, and had her arms wrapped around the guy completely, with a few fingers inside his shirt. Just behind them, a middle-aged couple passed by riding on a scooter. The woman had one hand resting on her hubby's shoulder, and they were bickering about something. He could not help but smile at the contrast.

Still walking down the footpath, he came across a coaching school of sorts. He saw eager parents waiting at the gate for their children to come out. As soon as the bell rang, hordes of small kids came shouting and running towards the gate. He noticed the parents searching for their sons and daughters. In particular, he noticed a man who was searching helter-skelter for his girl - Sonal.

Slowly the crowd was thinning. Bikes, scooters, cars, and auto-rickshaws were moving out. But that man was still searching for Sonal. Finally, there were only two or three children still loitering around. Sonal was nowhere to be seen. Rohan noticed the tension in the man's eyes and saw his trembling hands. Suddenly, the man shouted, "Sonal!!". Rohan turned and saw the most beautiful little girl ever. Sonal couldn't have been more than 3 years old. Seeing her father, she ran towards him as fast as she could. She ran hard, without a care in the world, only wishing to bury herself in her dad's arms. Her father held his arms outstretched, waiting for her, and hoping that she doesn't fall down running so hard. Rohan noticed the joy and elation that they both shared. He felt the love. He had a taste of life.

Rohan had tears in his eyes, but these tears were of a different kind. His phone rang. It was his mother.

"Arre where are you beta? It's dinner time already...."

He didn't answer.

"Jaldi aa jao...I have made Matar-paneer...and Dad has brought ice-cream! See you scored 80%...some celebration has to be there naa!"

"I love you Mom...", he said in a shaky voice.

"What happened? Where are you?"

"I am coming in 10 minutes mummy...don't worry!"

After he hung up, he tore off the letter he had written in the park. From his pocket, he took out the bottle of poison, and smashed it to the ground. And then he started running. Running towards home.

The End

ps: This is entirely a work of fiction. Please don't beat me up if your name is Rohan. :-)

Happyness...

2009-06-14T09:00:00.003+05:30

"ICE CREAM!"

"No, sardi ho jayegi!"

"Can we take that ride?"

"No, you'll get hurt!"

"I want that chocolate...."

"No!"

"Can I ha.."

"NO!"

"I hate you..."

"Uff...alright...let's have that Five-Star, and then we'll have the ride..."

"hmmm?"

"Ok baba...you'll get your ice cream too. Happy!"

"Oh Mommy you're the best!"

The End.

The Curious Case(s) of Missing The Bus

2009-06-10T23:40:00.001+05:30

An old man was really drunk. So he threw a stone at a dog. But then he saw his bus leaving, and made a run for it. Someone pushed him hard. As he fell down, he thought as if he was falling into heaven. He fell asleep. The old man missed the bus, but experienced heaven.

The dog saw the bus leaving. He started running after it, because that's what dogs do. Suddenly, somebody threw a stone at him. The dog got angry. Then somebody kicked him. He got angrier. But then a fruit-basket (with fruits) fell over him. The dog missed the bus, but enjoyed the fruits.

Lallan saw the bus leaving, and made a run for it. He kicked the dog accidentally, pushed the hobbling 70-year old off-balance, and got knocked off by the lady selling fruits. As he got up to curse her, he saw how beautiful she was. Lallan missed the bus, but fell in love.

The End.

Desperate...

2009-05-28T03:13:00.004+05:30

It was a hot summer's day. As Nina wiped the beads of sweat off her forehead, her eyes met Rita's. Rita just smiled. They hadn't seen each other in months. They stood there on the field, facing each other. All around them, there grew tall grass, as high as their shoulders. Nobody else was in sight for miles and miles. And even if somebody did pass by, he/she would've had great difficulty spotting them. It was really hot out there, and they were sweating all over.

"You're looking really beautiful...."

"You too..."

"I've...you know...missed you..."

"Me too..."

"So should we...you know...begin?"

"What's the hurry?"

"Well...we're alone now."

"Nobody's coming to disturb us for a long time..."

They exchanged smiles.

"How long do we have?"

"Perhaps the whole day, if we don't get tired. Anyway, we would come tomorrow too."

"It's...you know...so hot."

"It certainly is."

"I think, the sooner we start, the sooner we would finish."

"You don't know that."

They exchanged smiles again. And the smiles were wider this time. They sat down, facing each other.

"Hey...you brought lunch!"

"I knew you would like it..."

"Oh God it's so hot...", Rita cooed as she removed the bow holding her hair together. Her hair rolled down her neck in little streams, so that she looked even more stunning. She then rearranged her hair, and tied them up into a bun, leaving a few strands here and there upon her face. Nina's eyes followed a drop of sweat as it ran down her cheek, and then her neck.

"Aren't we done with the little novelties? Shouldn't we...you know...just start?

"Why are you being so desperate? Let's just talk for a little while."

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Hmmm...let's see...okay...tell me a few things you did since we last met."

She thought for a while. Then she said, "Well, I completed another semester of college, celebrated my birthday, got myself a driver's licence..."

"And?"

"And...I got to read a new book."

"About what?"

"You know what."

"Hehe...so...learnt something new?"

"Yep...learnt a few expert tricks. I came to know a lot of new stuff. Time well spent."

"Nice. Very nice. Try out a few of those tricks today..."

"Can't we begin now?", she pleaded.

"Oh alright..."

The pleasure on Nina's face had to be seen to be believed.

"But...sweetheart...go slow...Don't hurt you hands..."

"Trust me, I won't...", she said, smiling. And then they took out their grass-trimmers, and started their summer assignment of shaping the grass and landscaping the field.

The End.

Breaking up

2009-05-13T11:38:00.001+05:30

He knew he had to end it today. He remembered the standard lines.

"I need to figure some things out about me..."
"It's not you, it's me....You deserve so much better."
"It's what's best for you..."

When she finally came, he started off with - "Hey! We need to talk..."

She said, beaming - "I'm pregnant!"

The End.

Does Love Matter?

2009-05-04T13:15:00.001+05:30

"Four bullets are enough for a man...", she thought, as she loaded the revolver. Putting the weapon in her purse, she checked her hair and wiped off the beads of sweat from her forehead. Her hands were trembling. She had killed many times before, but why was she so nervous today? He was a bastard, a traitor. He was expendable. It was not a sin to kill traitors. And she had to do it today.

She replayed the plan in slow motion inside her head. She was to meet him at his friend's garage at 6:30 pm. It was to be a "date" of sorts. He had chosen this queer place specifically because it gave them some quality time together, without anybody watching. She had acquired his friend's finger-prints, and stolen his gun...the same gun in her purse right now. His friend had specific instructions to come back as late as possible. So, he would arrive only after 9:00 pm. Her plane would depart at 8:30 pm. With a little luck, it was an almost perfect plan. And she had to push her luck.

She had a dossier containing all of the horrible things that he had done. The evidence against him was irrefutable. He was a villain. She hated him from the core of her heart. But when he was around, she could not explain the attraction she felt towards him. His smile was irresistible.

It was 6 o'clock already. Time to leave. Wait...her ticket? Where had she kept it? She frantically searched her purse, and everywhere else. She was becoming more panicky by the second. She liked keeping things in order, but order had failed her tonight. Finally, she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the tickets lying on the sofa. She took a deep breath, and wiped her face off the sweat and tension. She checked her make-up and lipstick yet again, re-checked the gun, and then went for her door. Just as she was reaching the door-knob, someone rang the doorbell! She was so surprised she almost screamed.

It was him. As she stood there shell-shocked, he put that irresistible smile on his lips.

"Yo...You...here?"

"Surprised, are we?"

"Obviously!! How co.."

"Well, I thought I should be a gentleman and pick up my date for dinner. And, I like surprising you! You look so cute with that look...", he said as he ran a finger through her cheek. She couldn't help but blush. He was quite a handsome and desirable man.

She tried to think quickly. Unfortunately, she had no plan B.

"Don't try to earn extra points mister! I think we sho..."

She could not finish her sentence as he forced himself inside the house.

"Wow...you keep the house quite clean!"

"I like keeping things in order."

She was getting more and more restless by the minute. He opened the fridge, and poured himself a glass of water.

"Damn the heat...it was 45 degrees today you know!"

"Oh...really?"

She was hardly paying attention.

"Hey I didn't know your father was in the Army!"

"Uh...how did you..."

She had never told him this. Did he know? Did he know she was undercover? Did he know she was to kill him tonight? Had he always known?

"Arre baba no need to get so edgy...I saw his picture in uniform on the table there. He sure is a handsome fella. No wonder you are so pretty..."

He gave that irresistible smile again.

"Oh what's this?"

He had noticed the ticket. It was still lying on the sofa.

"What the...? Where are you going? Wh...You are leaving TONIGHT????"

She just kept staring at him. He looked positively hurt and confused.

"When did..Why...Please don't go! Did I do something?"

She turned away from him. She had to do it now. Perhaps he knew. Perhaps he didn't. It didn't matter anyway. She had to do it now. She put her hand inside the purse. She felt the cold steel of the weapon, and put her finger on the trigger. Then she turned to face him.

He was kneeling on the ground, hands outstretched. He said, "Please don't leave me!! I was gonna prop...I have started loving you jaan, and would die without you. Would you marry me?"

The End.

Coyote Bold

2009-04-29T23:33:00.004+05:30

The moonless night wore a veil of darkness. The only sounds that could be heard were generated by the perpetual chirping of crickets, and the rustle of fallen leaves gently blown away by the wind. Other than that, the night was quiet. Two wild rats, probably a couple, were busy scrubbing the earth, hunting down small insects to satisfy their tiny bellies. Almost all of a sudden, the sibilance of some unknown footsteps on the dry soil made their ears stand up. And by the time they came to know what the sound was, it was all over. The hunter had become the hunted. Kim, the wolf, did not remain starving that night.

Kim was like any other wolf of the North American jungles, except in one facet. He had only one companion. Kim and his sister Lira had broken their group’s rules of hunting. And breaking of rules is not tolerated in this part of the world. That's why the two had been banished from their matriarchal drove. They had been since wandering, in the vast expanses of the woodland in search of food and water. Both had had no food for two days flat. Consequently, the rat couple had proved to be more than a welcome dinner. In terms of character, the wolves were complete opposites. Lira was of the more shrewd variety, a better hunter, and had the uncanny ability to smell danger. Being older, she also had experience on her side. Rightly, she was the leader of their troupe. Kim was a lion at heart. Afraid of nothing, save his sister, he lived on the principle that the best way of defense is offense – one of the reasons he had been evicted from his group. Together they had faced many adversities and had come out winners. Their love for each other had given them enough reason to live.

The wolves, after the not so delicious banquet of wild rats, were feeling sleepy. But Lira, the elder one, knew they had to move on, because, in a matter of moments, they could become fodder for a ravenous pack of lions, or for a stealthy panther on the prowl, or more ironically, for a herd of wolves…they had many natural enemies. They had to move on, but where? They had no destinations, just one ambition – to remain alive. They had traveled scores of miles from the mountains they had once ruled, in search of a place, where they could rule once again. And so, they moved on.

It was early morning next day, when they reached a place that scented like grapes. Grapes provide a lot of vitamins and minerals and fluid to the body, and they are much tastier than rats. Hence, they decided to trespass the boundaries of the grapevine, and started downing the juicy fruits. In a small cage nearby were considerably startled poultry birds that showed every kind of resentment against their unwanted guests (who could as well eat them up). Kim certainly was becoming hungrier, but had his sister to obey. Lira was of course lost in the grapes. The ruckus created by the birds woke up the owner of that place, an old village farmer. Smelling the worst, he hastily picked up his aged body and a wooden stick and hurried down his backyard, only to find scattered grapes, some half eaten, and empty branches on the grapevine. The wolves had escaped. The old man could do nothing except venomously curse the intruders, who had eaten up a quarter of his next week’s income.

After feasting on the grapes, Kim and Lira had to remain hungry for the next week. The absence of food had made them even more determined to survive. They had become extremely feeble, especially Lira. And they had become extremely dangerous, especially Kim. Kim had become so agitated he could have killed an elephant if he wanted to. But you got to find one if you got to kill one. They had been searching for an elusive prey for over 168 hours, without any success. However, just as they were starting to see the beginning of their ends, Mother Nature provided them another chance of survival. They were standing on a low cliff, and below it, they could see a small rivulet of water trickling between the rocks. Lira knew, where there was water, there would be food. Both came down the cliff and went down the road the water had taken. The water was as clear as a crystal, and Lira could see delicious white fish swimming in it. Kim had never caught fish in his small life, and there was always the magic of a first experience. After making a few blunders, and some tips from his sister, he got his maiden catch. However, at the top of a nearby tall tree, two eyes looked ruefully at the scene below. The wolves had intervened in the lunch of a bald eagle, now perched at the top of the tree, but the bird could not dare do anything but watch, as the wolves wolfed down “his” fish. There were two more eyes looking at the two, from the crest of a mountain above. But these eyes did not look at them respectfully like those of the bald eagle. These eyes were full of contempt, and looked disdainfully at the two. These were the eyes of the leader of a pack of about 25 wolves that governed that mountain. His visitors were not welcome. He would have to let them know this.

Where there is water, there is life…and where there is life, there is death lurking somewhere. Her hunger had made Lira forget this basic adage. In the thrill of discovery of food, she had conveniently forgotten that her brother and she were quite vulnerable pieces of flesh themselves. She had made a lethal, if not fatal error of judgement. Silently, and stealthily, the leader of that mountain was creating a mesh of his sentinels who could, at his slightest order, mash the two unassuming intruders to pulp. Kim got hold of the state of affairs first, when he saw one of the pairs of eyes that were despising him. Lira got to know when the leader gave his first growl of authority to everyone who could hear him. The bald eagle started circling the area of battle with the interest of a spectator. Kim understood clearly that he and Lira could not run away from there, simply because, there were no paths left for escape. He had no other choice but to fight. And he started off by displaying the glint of his ferocious teeth to all his adversaries, and released a chilling snarl that instantaneously created some respect for him in the hearts of his foes. However, in just a split second, one of the sentinels had bitten some meat off his right leg, as another clawed at the face of Lira.

There was too much imbalance between the two sides: too one-sided was the affair. In a few minutes, Kim had blood all over himself – he was not skilled enough to sustain the clever attacks of his rivals. The condition of Lira was no better. But Lira had been able to engage the bigger chunk of enemies owing to her smarter fighting skills. In the process of drinking the two to their bones, the leader of the group also shoved them away from his boundaries, clearly indicating who the boss was. Of course, the leader was a kind hearted fellow. He did not like much bloodshed. The criminals had been made aware of their offence. Driving them out of his borders, and satisfied they would not dare cross its limits again, he and his troops started on their homeward journey, leaving the two in peace to lick their wounds. Kim was now walking with a pronounced limp, while Lira was sensing extreme loss of energy along with some loss of her own meat. Nevertheless, they resumed their voyage of life. But their drained, sapped off energy levels convinced them that they very badly needed some rest. So they decided to lie down in a shady and well concealed locale and take some rest. In not much time they fell asleep.

Evidently, one cannot sufficiently describe the dreams that wolves see in their sleep, but Kim must have been dreaming about his herd. He must have remembered his mother, his father, and obviously, his sister, and the nicer days of his life when they all were together. And then he must have visualized the painful separation of his family and the whirlwind life Lira and he had had after it. He must have seen the rats; he must have remembered the grapes…and he must have remembered the duel with those ugly wolves. Within what could have been just under fifteen minutes, he woke up. They were not safe. They had to move on. He cried out to Lira to wake up and get going. But there was no reply. Kim wasn’t game for any jokes now. He looked in all directions. But Lira was nowhere to be seen. Had she left him? The familiar scent that Kim had lived with all through his life had suddenly deserted him. In search of her, he circled the region where they rested, until he found her. She quietly lay head down in the bed of dead grass, not to wake up again. Lira had died. The blows of those “ugly wolves” were too hard to handle for her, after the tumultuous journey she had undertaken. Kim however, could not digest this repulsive truth. He nudged her body with his feet and started caressing her head as lovingly as he always did. But there were to be no reactions. Whom would he look up to now? Lira had provided him the grit to live, the fire to attack, the doggedness not to lose, and so hastily, she herself had belied all of it and had lost her own battle. Kim could not understand what to do. Wolves cannot cry. But Kim wailed. He let out a cry that reverberated through all the mountains and plains that the two of them had crossed together, and reached the matriarch of his former group, to let her know that one of her family had died. It would be a day of grief for the whole of Lira’s tribe today. Then, Kim decided to restart from where he and Lira had left. He was alone, and he was his own leader now. He advanced on his journey.

At that night, a far cry of a wolf received his attention. It was the mating cry of a female wolf, a cry revealing that she wanted some company in her life. Kim decided to make a last attempt of survival, a last effort to sustain his blood, and started in the direction of the cry. Next morning, traveling further across the mountain, he came face-to-face with the Atlantic. For a while he enjoyed the first-time feeling on the deserted beach. He had never ever before seen anything so colossal in magnitude as the sea. He went down to the sea shore and took in the saline air, and stood gaping at that miracle of nature. The rapid winds on the sea created furrows through his furry hide as they blew past him. He could have stood longer, but past experience told him not to stay too long near a water body. Nevertheless, he found some food on the shore, in the form of a dead dolphin, which must have been swept down the shore along with sand on the sea beach. He decided to have a bite, when he heard the mating cry again. Hypnotically, he followed the sound.

The cry had come from a female in a pack of wolves that were fighting for survival within the group. She was Wimba. Wimba’s group had become too crowded with ravenous hunters who were now hell bent to display their superiority over each other. That day, true to their nature, they had plotted and killed a wild boar and her two children with such carnage that could curdle the blood of even the cruelest. And now they were feasting on their meat, just when a stealthy creature of approximately same build and height as themselves came near one of their females. They did not notice as the female stopped that creature from disturbing them from their lunch, and signaled her to be taken away from that herd. They did not care when Kim, along with Wimba went away as stealthily as he’d come.

Kim took Wimba near the sea, his last destination, and flaunted the large dolphin he’d caught (he lied), and there was no end to his pleasure when she indicated she liked the meat. The two had immediately bonded and their relationship was here to stay. Wimba was well aware of the conditions that prevailed in this region, as she was a native. She took Kim to a locale where the forest was inhabited by no other wolves. It was to become their territory. Together they would raise children, hunt, and will form the building blocks of the new herd, that would be led by Kim. They would drive away all the evil wolves that try to intrude into their territory. Kim would become what he was born to become – a Ruler.

Redemption...the Shawshank Way

2009-03-22T20:54:00.006+05:30

Everyone's innocent here in Shawshank. Don't you know that?

There are some movies that are never meant to be seen only once. You simply cannot absorb everything that any film offers, when you watch it the first time. But some movies are so bad that you don't really care to capture the minute details, and some movies are abysmal enough to not watch even once. But there are some movies that move you, and make you think about life, about the things that matter, in such a manner that you simply have to watch 'em again, and again, and again! It's really a mystery as to just how these beautiful movies are created. You can put it all upon the fantastic abilities of the creators themselves, or you could say (a.k.a. Slumdog Millionaire) that it's written. There are very few movies that I have watched more than once, and out of those, there are only a handful of movies that I have cared to watch thrice. One of them is "The Shawshank Redemption".

The title tells you all you need to know about the essence of the movie.

The story is set in the Shawshank Prison. A wealthy and intelligent banker, Andy Dufresne, has been (rightly or wrongly) found guilty of murdering of his wife and her secret lover. He is ordered to serve 2 life sentences, back to back, one for each of the murders, at the Shawshank prison. Twenty years earlier, another man, Ellis Boyd "Red" Redding, was (correctly) found guilty of committing murder, and is currently serving a lifer himself at the Shawshank prison.

And, the story is about Redemption. The film talks about how the two protagonists, Andy (smart wife-killin' banker) and Red, redeem themselves and find real freedom in their own unique ways. They win the hearts of the people around them (prisoners and guards alike) by doing the most common acts of kindness and humanity.

In addition to the relatively unexpected, and totally mind-blowing climax, there are two moments in the movie that stand out for me. The first one is when the prisoners are watching a movie in the prison auditorium. The very moment at which Rita Hayworth, the heroine, makes an entry on the screen, the prisoners go absolutely delirious and start hooting and whistling like mad. Those convicted men experience such pure, unadulterated joy in doing something that is utterly trivial and routine for a person like me. It brings into perspective the real and true significance of freedom. The second moment is when Andy uses his financial prowess to help a hapless prison guard save some tax. In return, he asks simply for a cold bottle of beer for all his mates. Red wonders why Andy really does this act of kindness towards the people whom he owes nothing. Says he, "You could argue he'd done it to curry favour with the guards. Or maybe make a few friends among us cons. Me, I think he did it just to feel normal again...if only for a short while." It goes to show just how much the man cherished normalcy amidst all the chaos that was prison. Beautifully written and beautifully portrayed on-screen.

The film was made almost fifteen years ago, but it still smells like fresh roses. I guess it's because the film portrays the victory of the human spirit, and the human spirit never grows old. The final outcome is extraordinary, superhuman and unbelievable, but this outcome is not reached by extraordinary and improbable means (like for e.g., in Lagaan), but by doing simple and ordinary things that bring a smile on sad faces. The film underscores the fact that impossible really is nothing. It implicitly tells us that hope is a light that shines when all other lights fade away.

There are so many things I love about this movie that I could write a whole book on it. It completely deserves the #1 ranking it has on the all-time list on IMDB. Whenever I have watched this movie, I have experienced a new energy flowing through my veins. Very few things in this world inspire you without trying too hard. The "Shawshank Redemption" is one of those things!

An Ode to Love

2009-03-07T01:00:00.007+05:30

I know that there have been hundreds of thousands of beautiful things said by lovers to woo their beloved, and well...sweep them off their feet. Words, when penned by the romantic souls, give a whole new expression to the fire that exists in their big hearts. I believe that I have heard much better stuff, but the following excerpt from the movie Stardust just blew me away. Here it goes:

If you can understand me, look at me now...

You know when I said I knew little about love? Well, that wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it. I've seen centuries and centuries of it. And it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain and lies. Hate. Made me want to turn away and never look down again. But to see the way that mankind loves. I mean, you could search the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So, yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and, well, strangely easy to mistake for loathing. And what I'm trying to say, Tristan, is that I think I love you. My heart, it feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it doesn't belong to me anymore. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange. No gifts, no goods, no demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you love me, too. Just your heart in exchange for mine.

Beautiful!

I HATE YOU THEN I LOVE YOU

2009-01-30T00:33:00.003+05:30

I'd like to run away from you
But if I were to leave you I would die
I'd like to break the chains you put around me
And yet I'll never try

No matter what you do you drive me crazy
I'd rather be alone
But then I know my life would be so empty
As soon as you were gone

Impossible to live with you
But I could never live without you
For whatever you do
For whatever you do
I never, never, never
Want to be in love with anyone but you

You make me sad
You make me strong
You make me mad
You make me long for you
You make me long for you

You make me live
You make me die
You make me laugh
You make me cry for you
You make me cry for you

I hate you
Then I love you
Then I love you
Then I hate you
Then I love you more
For whatever you do
I never, never, never
Want to be in love with anyone but you

You treat me wrong
You treat me right
You let me be
You make me fight with you
I could never live without you

You make me high
You bring me down
You set me free
You hold me bound to you

I hate you
Then I love you
Then I love you
Then I hate you
Then I love you more
I love you more
For whatever you do
For whatever you do
I never, never, never
Want to be in love with anyone but you

I never, never, never
I never, never, never
I never, never, never
Want to be in love with anyone but you
But you

This is a duet sung by Celine Dion and Pavarotti. Why did I post this? 'Coz I simply love this song!

The Anguish

2009-01-27T18:24:00.006+05:30

The winds of her pain
Blew on the sands of sadness
The rivers of her dead hopes
Flew on the plains of madness.

Her heart of honour
was murdered with the blade of lust,
Nobody heard her yells of agony
Her screams were muffled in dust.

Her tears of weakness
Are but droplets doomed to vaporize,
To leave behind the salt of despair
Beneath the holes which once used to be eyes.

Her eyes blink when the wind sings
Her ears ring and the skin stings
She doesn't care for roses anymore
Even a thorn would touch her heart-strings

But she still raises her soul
from the ashes of despair
She reforges her chains of trust
Her heart is not beyond repair.

She lights up her life
With the fire of her dreams
Her hopes are her only jewels
She makes her own way like a stream...

Blown Away

2009-01-10T22:58:00.005+05:30

“No one loses any other life than this which he now lives, nor lives any other than this which he now loses.”

It was Christmas. And it was a Saturday. Good enough reasons to celebrate, better when it comes for free. The deafening hard rock music blasting from the speakers had the capacity to awaken even the sleepiest from their dead slumber. Lifeless sand too, it seemed had become alive as it flew carelessly from the feet of dancers. The tireless sea lashed its waves incessantly on the shores of Marina beach, Chennai. Out of breath dancers could taste the smell of saline air that blew over them. It was one of those times when people forgot all the heartache, buried all apprehensions and just lived for the moment. They had surrendered themselves to the raucous blare of that night. Krishna, the fisherman, was one of the enjoyers. This was an ideal place for him to release his emotions. He had had a fight with his wife, Mali, that morning, and she was still not talking to him. Their marriage had been on the rocks for quite some time now. Professionally too, he had been going downhill for the past few days. Fish did not get hooked to his net like the good old days. However, a plan was brewing in his mind to lure back his wife. He was thinking about having a surprise birthday bash for his lovely three year old, Chanda. That would make her wife happy, at least till the next weekend. He looked out at the dark sea. He found it terribly silent. Krishna anticipated that the ocean was up to something. What he did not anticipate, though, was that the ocean was up to something murderous.

Around three on the morning of 26th December, after all the celebration, Krishna finally came home, only to see his family fast asleep. Looking at their angelic faces, he thought what a lucky chap he was. But, thousands of miles below sea level, around the same time, someone had suddenly woken up from his sleep. The earth below the sea had quaked. Friction between the tectonic plates would give rise to such gigantic tidal waves, which would devastate anything and everything on their way, maybe Krishna and his family. For now, though, Krishna was feeling lucky.

Despite having a tired body, Krishna found it difficult to sleep. He knew that his system needed rest, but his mind wasn’t responding to his body. It was almost six in the morning now. He had to make some preparations regarding his little surprise. He decided he was doing nothing sensible by warming his bed, so got up and walked out. Seeing little kids playing games on the beach, Krishna chose to have a quiet walk to the seashore, to warn them about the impending danger he’d foreseen last night. He would tell them to stay away from the water for that day. He couldn’t logically explain his fears, but his sixth sense was telling him that the sea was not happy.

And then he saw what he never wanted to see. His sixth sense was right. Far away, in the heart of the ocean, he saw a mammoth wave galloping towards him. It was so enormous, so gigantic that the morning sun could have surfed on it. For a moment, he lost all senses, and stood still, bedazzled by that marvel of nature. He knew it was too late. The people on the beach did not have even sixty seconds.

Mustering up all his energies, he decided to run…RUN for his life. In the heart of his mind, he had only two people, Mali and Chanda. He had to wake them up and then transport them to a safe place. He could not, of course, tell what a safe place could be. Looking at the immensity of the wave, he could say the whole of Chennai was in danger. On way to his home, he saw people climbing up tall coconut trees, thinking they would be saved. He saw men, women, children running helter-skelter for their lives, the same people with whom he had made merry last night. And through the corner of his eye, he could see the wave vehemently coming nearer to him every second, like a leopard on its prey. In any moment now, he would be washed away like a straw.

Krishna prayed that someone, at least someone would have woken his family up and moved them out of the house. They could not be saved any other way. How would he give his sweethearts the surprise then? While he was thinking this, abruptly, the wave struck him. He was pole vaulted about ten metres above the ground and then thrown apart like a Frisbee towards his left. The wave, like a white whale, was absorbing everything on its way. Its power was absolute. Never in his wildest dreams had Krishna come face to face with a wave so colossal in its magnitude. He thought it was all over, and quietly went under the brackish water that had engulfed him. In the water he saw a little girl turning blue with lack of air. He made a dash towards her, and somehow managed to push her above the water, while he remained under it. They were going where the water was taking them. Krishna knew he was losing it, and losing it very fast indeed. Nature had played its cruelest joke on him. If only his wife and daughter are safe, he hoped.

Just then, as destiny would have it, his feet seemed to touch something akin to stairs. It seemed they had been driven away into a house, and a big house at that. With all his might, he struggled up the stairs with the small kid in one hand, against the current of water. He somehow reached the terrace of the house, from where he could now see the morning sun. On the terrace were the dwellers of the house. They pulled up the child first, and then him. One half of him still lay inside the cold water, but he was safe now. More people followed suit and came up after Krishna.

The people who had pulled Krishna up were tourists, and the “house” was a hotel. The waves had carried him almost half a kilometer down north-west, towards the tourist resorts. They told him that these waves had come as a result of an earthquake in some neighbouring country, and that the waves are called tsunamis. A tsunami had almost killed him, Krishna thought. He knew he was lucky. But where was his wife? Where was his daughter? From the terrace, all he could see was just water and water everywhere. It seemed as if the ocean had extended its boundaries, and now, his hut was a part of it. Nevertheless, in his heart of hearts he knew, somebody must have woken up his family. Someone must have saved them, just as he was saved. He knew he was lucky…

postscript: this was my first attempt at writing short stories, probably 2-3 years ago...

The Human Spirit

2008-12-23T00:21:00.019+05:30

Last night, something peculiar happened. I was playing a stupid and silly game on my PC, when a giant dragonfly (the one that looks like a helicopter) came storming into my room. And then it started banging itself madly on the poor tube-light. You can imagine the noise it created. Fortunately or unfortunately, I was on the verge of beating my best score in the stupid and silly game I was playing, so I tried not to notice all the racket. But then, all of a sudden, everything became quiet. Instinctively, I looked up at the tube-light. The fly had managed to entangle itself in the cobweb near the tube (my room is very clean except that cobweb). For a few moments, I kept watching the helpless thing flail its wings, trying to pry itself out of the web. However, the spider that had cast that web probably hadn't thought of capturing such large prey, and eventually, the fly managed to get itself out of jail. The fly then did a few rounds of the room to celebrate its new-found freedom, and then resumed its attack on the tube. Remarkably, it got entangled in the web again! After a lot of struggling (on part of both me and the fly), I finally managed to drive the poor thing out of my room, but the event made me think. Almost every object that has life, learns from experience. So, the fly, even with its pea-sized brain, knew that there was life-threatening danger near the light. Even then, it did not/could not care much. It kept chasing the light as if its life depended on it, knowing fully well, that it could even die in the process. Indeed, the fly could die for the light. And that's why it survived, probably.

There is no doubt that we humans are the ultimate survivors. Bring any adversity upon us, and we will withstand it. Sometimes, one may wonder as to what makes us so tough, so strong. Technically speaking, we are one of the weakest living things. On a bad day, a free-fall from a height of 5-10 meters can break our bones, and the slightest of insults can bruise our fragile egos. Then what is it that really makes us click? What makes us the winners we are? Probably, our capacity to go to any lengths, to have the things we care about. In other words, it is our capability to pay the highest possible price in pursuit of our goals. The fly could die only for the light, but humans can die for a lot more. What could a man die for? Love? Money? Motherland? Respect? Religion? Truth? Fame? Notoriety? The list is endless.

It is this ability to fight against all odds that we call the human spirit. It is this quality that gives us the competence to invent and create. It is this spirit that makes us believe that anything and everything is winnable until it is lost. It is this belief that made Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan take on those terrorists in Mumbai. It is this belief that gave Sachin Tendulkar the conviction to hit that breathtaking century in Chennai. And it is this belief that would make us outlive all these economic recessions, and it is this belief that would make us live beyond 2012.

A fully faltu chat

2008-11-07T00:18:00.004+05:30

This is a chat with a friend around a year ago. The special thing about this is the truckload of geeky PJs that you'll find in it. Just one thing though: The entire conversation is in a pretty light mood and no malice is meant to anyone....

So, let's see if you manage to read the complete thing....[:P]

9:26 PM me: i am in...

6 minutes

9:32 PM Romanch: hi

wassup?

9:33 PM me: tumne pukara aur

hum chale aaye

Romanch: kabhi dil ki awaaj bhi sun liya karo...

9:34 PM :P

kya kiya aaj pure din....

me: phir teri kahani yaad aayi

phir tera fasaana yaad aaya

9:35 PM Romanch: koi bhoot se paala pad gya kya...

me: rgv ki aag

dekhi

9:36 PM aur dimag ka dahi ho gaya

Romanch: i watched the first 15 mins and then dumped it

u shud have done d same

me: i dumped it after intro of AB

9:37 PM Romanch: dat's a lot of patience....how cud u sustain it...

i m in awe of yr capabilities

me: yes MANN...atleast i m gud at sumthn

9:38 PM Romanch: gud....

APS?

me: All Purpose Sickness

9:39 PM Romanch: dat's cool...

u r THE ONE

9:40 PM watch the promo of Om Shanti Om at www.indiafm.com, its magnificent

9:41 PM hey.....r u busy in somethin???????
m i disturbin u????
is it so???

9:42 PM me: no no man

tera aps kitna hua?

Romanch: 2 down 2 2 go

9:43 PM how abt u?

me: 0 down 4 to go

Romanch: that's a nice number...

i like it...

9:44 PM i told u, u r d ONE

me: i am starting to believe it oracle

Romanch: umesh is in big trouble....

me: fr what?

Romanch: dat is wat u have 2 understand....

9:45 PM u must start seeing..

me: is he agent smith?

in disguise?

Romanch: no he is the architect of d CS program

9:46 PM u must go and talk 2 him...but u will need d keymaker

me: who is actually amitabh in disguise?

9:47 PM Romanch: we cannot see beyond the choices that we cannot make

9:48 PM me: i can see the oracle has been made with a few bugs

9:49 PM run gdb on it

Romanch: i m here to tell u the path....not reveal it

me: gcc oracle.c -g

gdb /a.out

o/p

9:50 PM ERROR!!!!!

ERROR!!!!

ERROr!!!!

System abort....

Romanch: SYSTEM FAILURE!!

me: so we are finally aout of crap matrix

Romanch: i think so..

me: ./a.out

Romanch: ctrl + D

9:51 PM so wat abt APS?? did u try it

me: om shanti om ka kya dekhne bol raha hai?

9:52 PM Romanch: http://indiafm.com/broadband/video/Movie-Promos/Wnfunq18/3/Promo-1-Om-Shanti-Om.html

go to this link

9:54 PM got it?

9:55 PM me: abe om shanti om kee starcast hai ya star showers hai?

Romanch: mostly guest appearances hain

main lead is SRK with DP

9:56 PM me: koi aur bachta hai bollywood mein?

Romanch: nope

there is a scene in which SRK will get a filmfare award and all of the Bollywood industry wud b present

9:57 PM it was shooted live in Filmfare Awards this year

me: what crap

Romanch: its gonna be mind blasting entertainer...

then there is saawariya of SLB

9:58 PM its romantic extravaganza...

9:59 PM me: sab diwali mein aane waali hain naa?

Romanch: yup

both release on 9th

nov

me: bahut badhiya

10:00 PM Romanch: a hell of diwali it is going to b

me: yup

lekin uske pehle hyderabad mein hum...err...phatake phutenge

10:01 PM Romanch: now dats unavoidable

10:02 PM me: see its a random variable

Romanch: yup

10:03 PM just when i thought coming 2 yr room it started raining...

10:04 PM me: and the expectation of the expectorant of avoidability is so unavoidable that in the the most unnecessiated circumstances the avoidabilities exceed the anavoidabilities by the whisker of the idiotic mindset of the antisematic groups in the tarai region of the himalayas

Romanch: now dats wat i m talking about...

u did yr MS already

10:06 PM u know there were some really cool dialogues in LOTR

me: like?

Romanch: FLY....U FOOLS!!

me: yeh to harry potter lagta hai

galat studio aa gaya

10:07 PM Romanch: no...its spoken by Gandalf in mount something

aur bata...

abhi kya karega

10:08 PM me: will try to do...

10:09 PM Romanch: now that's not a random variable!! i know wat is the result wid vry high probability

10:10 PM me: non linear translation of the ultra hemispherical right auricle of the brain in the quarterly head of the child of a hippopotamus and a buffalo

Romanch: now from where r u gettin this!!!

10:11 PM me: from doubly linked lists in the text editor

Romanch: true it is

me: i am coming to know about my secret hidden talent

10:12 PM achha words kaise detect kar raha hai 2nd q mein?

10:13 PM another linked list?

and yes i can talk sanity

in the middle of insanity

Romanch: that's something new!!!!
no linked list for words

10:14 PM just us the functions for moving left and right ot find words...

10:15 PM me: that is kinda tedious

Romanch: i dont think so

just think about another linked list and u wil get goosebumps

10:16 PM i m stuck at 3rd...

me: true that is

Romanch: no idea how 2 move forward

10:17 PM me: what if.....

we type e

Romanch: choice is an illusion...

me: so we get to the end of te linked list

and then type D c

Romanch: nothing will happen

me: '/0' gets deleted

10:18 PM Romanch: does it happen in a real text editor???

me: yaah

i actually gave that idea to the inventor of vi text editor

Romanch: oh...

10:19 PM me: i should write a book

Romanch: titled INSANITY IN A SANE MIND

me: "How to waste a saturday"

INSANITY IN A SEN MIND

10:20 PM Romanch: thats cool

U can see things...

10:21 PM i think the eye problem left a mark on u

me: now i will become

the EYEMAN

10:22 PM Romanch: wat r d special powers???

me: your friendly iiit neighbourhood hero

special powers:

ability to kill someone with phataas

Romanch: now heroes dont kill

10:23 PM u r a friendly IIIT neighbourhood villain

have u seen parody's of LOTR and spiderman

me: i wont kill

the victim will kill himself out of

10:24 PM frustation

no i havent seen the parodies

Romanch: see them....and then u will never want 2 b a superhero

they will hit u on the head

10:25 PM me: then i will become HEAD MAN

10:26 PM HITHEAD MAN

EYEHITHEAD MAN

Romanch: bas kar yaar....rahne de

10:27 PM me: see my first victim is already showing the early signs

Romanch: true it is

me: we should make others read ths conversation

10:28 PM Romanch: STEGANOGRAPHY

me: spam

Romanch: if we take it to venkaih sir...he will b able 2 find the plain text

me: ha ha

10:29 PM only he has the ability

Romanch: now he is THE ONE..

just imagine!!!!

me: what will his look be in the matrix?

10:30 PM he would just start teaching DES to agent smith and he will say:

why?

Romanch: any questions?

me: why Mr. Venkaiyaah?

10:31 PM why do u always say kadak ke?

is it habitual?

is it love for cryptography?

10:32 PM Romanch: then he wud say bcoz "i choose 2"

me: or is it just that you could not get anybody to torture since morning/

Romanch: that can b one answer....

10:33 PM me: and then Mr. Venkaih will say...

kadak ke

and then he will say

Romanch: but agent smith will die just in one lecture...

me: join the iiit green club

Romanch: suicide

10:35 PM me: mr. venkaih saves the world

Romanch: he is a reak security man

reak

real

10:36 PM me: kadak ke

Romanch: that is all for this evening...

10:37 PM me: one last thing

Romanch: so be it..

me: how will venkaih sir take attendance of so many agent smiths?

Romanch: this thing crossed my mind...

10:38 PM me: Mr. Smith

ther he is

Mr. Smith

Romanch: i think he will create some substitution cipher

10:39 PM me: i think.......

10:40 PM Romanch: i think...

me: he will do a monoalphabetic substitution of a fiestel structure and create a public playfair of the new data seal and then encode it with RSA

10:41 PM Romanch: wow that's possible...but will it be able to create 7 billion different cipher texts for same i/p

me: kadak ke

10:42 PM Romanch: He can do anything....he's d ONE

10:43 PM me: no no

he is the one time pad

10:44 PM Romanch: hmm...

me: thats why

he is unbreakable

what if.....

Romanch: another if...

i told u choice is an illusion

10:45 PM me: Santosh multhalli becomes morpheous and accompanies THE ONE???

10:46 PM they will both attack agent smiths

and agent smith will become Agent MYth

Romanch: one with kadak k and other with linux reolving tricks

10:47 PM well i think we need 2 post this conversation on LIFE...its been many days

me: i too agree!!!

10:48 PM Romanch: chalo...lets get back 2 aur real lifes...complete d APS assignment

10:49 PM me: right...but the discusion is to be continued...

Romanch: yes...next day same time...

me: righto..

10:50 PM alvida

Romanch: tadaaa.....

till we meet again....keep reading INSANITY IN A SEN'S MIND...

bbyee

me: ciao..

My first one

2008-11-06T00:56:00.004+05:30

Probably the only thing that's constant in life is "change". Change is an inevitable part of life. Life hates to be the same for more than mere moments. Everything that happens, or does not happen around us, is an effect of some change. Change is the instrument of change itself. Change is so very induced in so many things around us that sometimes, we fail to notice it. But then, sometimes, we cannot ignore it any more. The world around me is going through such phenomenal change that...well...I had to write something about it!

It started with the Indian cricket team. Our best cricket team in probably many many years has finally been defeated by old age. First our beloved electronic and print media attacked Sourav Ganguly, until he retired. Then they started teasing Anil Kumble until he succumbed to age and injury. Now, as I am writing this, hundreds of lines of crap is being churned out on Rahul Dravid and, unless he scores a century in the Nagpur test, God save him. I can't really begin to fathom how a team-sheet without these stalwarts would look like, but then, I have to accept the change - so much change - so quickly.

The second, and definitely more heart-warming change has been the election of Barack Obama as the next President of the US of A. Mind you, Mr. Obama does seem to be a really capable man, but perhaps the biggest roadblock for him, which he too knew in his heart of hearts, was the colour of his skin. I have read somewhere that in the early 1960s, it was really tough for African-Americans to even get a decent lunch in a decent restaurant because of various racism related issues. In those days, imagining that someday one of them would become a US President was pure science fiction stuff. But today, it is a welcome reality. The entire Obama campaign was based on one magic word - "Change". I hope he lives up to his reputation and makes the world a better place to live in his tenure.

A third and a personally refreshing change is that I have started blogging [:P]. Starting a blog had been one of those things right up there on my to-do list but somehow, laziness always managed to get the better of me. But then, things change! Anyway, now that I have started with it, I hope to continue writing on lots n lots of interesting stuff...till then, ciao!